Dear Isabella,

Dear Isabella,

Words can’t express how much I miss you and how much it hurts every day to wake up and know that you are no longer here. The past nearly 8 weeks have been the hardest of my life to date. Both my mum and your mum are regularly checking up on me, to make sure I am ok and not going to do anything to join you. They both do the same thing, they start with a text which asks something random that I will answer and then work up to asking how I am doing.

I always tell them that I am ok because I don’t want them to worry too much about anything. Your mum is feeling the same pain and loss as I am so I don’t want to put anything else for her to worry about. But my mum will call me if she thinks something is up and can tell by the tone of my voice just how I am feeling at that point in time.

The actual reality of the situation is very complicated, first I had my bipolar go to a bad place and unfortunately, Meg had to experience it and I hate that she had to see me like that. But after explaining what it was and why it happened and telling her that she was just unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time. But she still wants to keep in contact with me even after seeing me at my worst, which is good because she’s nice.

But now my anorexia is playing up too, it never rains but it pours when it comes to me. It probably started at the…