Losing weight with an eating disorder

Then it’s on about how I have eaten that past week and what I have done to try and eat a proper meal. Most weeks it’s a no to having eaten a proper meal, as I don’t see the point of cooking just for me, a sandwich or some soup is plenty for me to eat if I want something.

But my appetite is well none existent at the moment, the grief is suppressing it and that’s from what is naturally a low point anyhow. So it’s like a daily battle to actually eat something so my intake is a little erratic. Now where my BMI is at the moment she’s not concerned too much about it, although has said that it could get to the point where I have to have weekly weight sessions at the doctors again.

But the problem I have at the moment is that I do actually want to lose some weight generally because I am at the top end of the BMI index and I would like to be in the middle of it, not too low. But in telling people that I want to lose some weight genuinely they all jump to the conclusion that it’s driven by the anorexia and will not stop once it starts.

So I am in this horrible position where I actually do want to lose some weight but if I say that to some people it would be a red flag moment. As I have never dieted properly in the past I have just let a relapse happen to restrict my calories and get to the point I want to be at, now once or twice it’s gone a bit too far but these things happen.

I know some weeks I have deliberately added water weight to my body before I get on the scales to get a…